I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
