im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
