i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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