I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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