the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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