all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize