Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
