Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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