The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
zippers are such a cool invention
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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