I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
