you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
