Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
