that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wear drunk well.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
