It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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