I smell stomach acid.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
