Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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