Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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