I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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