Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
