my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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