I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
