Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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