the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
