it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
