This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
