she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He better not be in your backpack
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
