We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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