its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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