i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
