is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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