i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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