There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
