Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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