god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sext me about skeletons
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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