I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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