I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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