like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
