Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
