i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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