I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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