a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
