Jerry, you need to find god
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
