bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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