his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
