do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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