It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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