Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
