CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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