How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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