They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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