Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
