hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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