she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
