weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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